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 Christmas Review

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Join date : 2013-01-05
Age : 40
Location : Morden

PostSubject: Christmas Review   Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:24 am

Morden Shysters Tipsters League Festive Review

PREMIER DIVISION

O'DONNELL FIGHTS OFF ALL COMERS TO MAINTAIN ADVANTAGE

Despite a less than impressive festive programme, Union Leader Mark O'Donnell has managed to maintain a healthy advantage at the top of the table. O'Donnell was indeed one of the lowest scoring Shysters in the Premier division, but having a good lead going into this run of four matches has definitely worked to his advantage. O'Donnell is nine points ahead of his nearest challenger, who is our President, Billy Burst. The President is clearly intent on keeping the Shysters League Title in the family, following the Lingfield Lounger's title success last year. But the chasing pack had better beware because O'Donnell is starting to get away again. It is so tight in the chasing pack. The Pride of Ganleys dropped to third after a less than impressive holiday showing. He claims that the reason for his poor showing was that he spent most of the time cowering under tables in drinking establishments across the water after over doing it in the drinking stakes. ANY OLD EXCUSE!!! Roaring into contention now is the Lingfield Lounger, who has surged up to fourth off the back of a decent showing and climbing above The Pearly Queen of Sutton, who is going into this Saturdays Shysters cup in less than impressive form.

But the real eye catching progress comes further down, where the mid table Shysters are all of a sudden harbouring ambitions of a Shysters Champions League spot. The Original Late Arrival (Andy Relf) and in particular The Fife Flyer have really reignited their Champions League ambitions with top showings over this trying period. The Fife Flyer's story is truly remarkable, when you consider that he was propping up the table earlier in the season, but here we have a Shyster who shows that it pays never to give up and his famous hearty, sometimes drunken battle cries have really done the trick. But we must now stand to salute the King. THE KING IS BACK, LONG LIVE THE KING!!! Yes Shysters, that's right The King of Roundshaw has sounded out a warning to all Shysters that he is well and truly back. The Pride of Wallington averaged over ten points per programme to sit in eighth spot, but just seven points behind The Lounger in the final Shysters Champions League slot.

Onto the bottom half now, and really it was a pretty desperate week for the Shysters in the lower half of the table, with one exception. Us Shysters all knew he was capable of it, and finally he is beginning to show his true colours. The Grimsby Grinder has finally arrived. It may have taken a season and a half, but the Shyster who hails from the Humber Estuary chose the Christmas and New Year period of the second season to finally show what a true Shyster he is. I managed to salvage what was turning out to be a train wreck of a Christmas by picking up 13 points from the New Year fixtures, but myself and Dr Orme must buck our ideas up or be faced with the prospect of being dragged into a relegation dogfight. DJ Brown is the Shyster now in the perilous position of being the Shyster that everyone in the drop zone is aiming for. Mike Gregory and Crusher Cane have been in the drop zone for some time now, but will be encouraged by the continued poor showing of Mr Brown. At the foot though, it's a tale of woe for Sher Amore who now finds herself 33 points from safety, surely too much for her to make up. But there is real mystery surrounding the whereabouts of Eddie Top Gun Wildman who seems to have vanished from this page, All his scores he submitted over Christmas have disappeared also and as a result he incurred a zero point score over all four programmes. We now await to see if he reappears in time for Shysters Cup tie against Roy Mifsud tomorrow.

CHAMPIONSHIP

BOYCEE REMAINS CLEAR, BUT MIGHTY MIFSUD ROARS INTO PROMOTION FRAME

The top two Shysters in the Championship continue to set the pace. David Boycee Hewitt had a solid rather than spectacular week tho extend his lead at the top over his nearest challenger, Steve Giddings to nine points. But the real Star Shyster in the Championship over the festive period was Roy Fishlips Mifsud, who by far and away the top scoring Shyster in this division. Prior to the start of this bumper period of fixtures, the Shyster who now becomes Arsenal's number one fan, following the disappearance of Mr Wildman (Sorry Funkasauras but he is above you in the standings) was floundering in a disappointing ninth place, but a spectacular haul of 41 points sees him climb six places and into a promotion spot. It also helped that the Shysters who started this period ahead of him, underperformed rather spectacularly, namely The Shyster Formerly Known as Baby Roche and Beanhead Wilson, who clearly has his mind on his big Shysters Cup clash this weekend. Greggs Shareholder, Garry Allan is now the Shstyer everyone is gunning for. He sits in that last promotion spot and is being pursued by The Funkasauras who sits menacingly just two points behind. Indeed the standard of overall scoring in the Championship dipped well below the standard set by their Premier division counterparts. Geordie Boy Shinn and The Belle of Bridgewater also underperformed but still remain just about on the fringes of the promotion race

It now seems that the promotion race seems to be between the top nine Shysters now as an alarming gap has started to open to the remainder. Indeed it is now a thirteen point gap between Miss Short and Si Stubbs. Elder Lemon Roche traded places with Goldenboy Nicol to take 11th place, while Mr Trevor Leach consolidates his position of 13th spot. Rich Colbourne scored a below par 26 but remains comfortably ahead of the also. Marc Johnson proved that he can cut the mustartd after all, if he puts his mind to it, by scoring a 33 points which pulls him clear of the rest and sees him somewhat isolated in 15th place 10 points behind Colbourne and 17 clear of his nearest challenger. Which brings me nicely on to that nearest challenger. A big well done to the Basingstoke Bruiser. Most Shysters would consider a 26 point score over this period as rather mediocre to say the least. But this score has more than banished his fears of finishing with the wooden spoon for the second consecutive season, especially as Boot Polish Bullock and the ever elusive Mark Nagle once again let their long suffering supporters down by not posting any scores. Credit must be given though to our two newest recruits Baby Roche and Caroline Brown (still need a nickname for you) who have already made up the ground that they lost at the start of the campaign. A fantastic achievement that must be applauded by all fellow Shysters.

The League takes a back seat as attention now switches to the Shysters Cup and a number of ties do take the eye. Standout match ups for me though are the all premier division grudge match between The Fife Flyer and myself, Championship high flyer Steve Giddings up against Premier division title chaser The Pride of Ganleys, Union Leader and title favourite Mark O'Donnell versus Geordie Boy Shinn and for me the most intriguing tie of all given all the needle that has come about due to reported mix up of ticket allocation is the tie between Beanhead Wilson and The Pearly Queen of Sutton. Thankfully all tickets were sold and nothing untoward took place and tickets have apparently found their way in the correct hands. More importantly all tickets were sold and Najman's supporters can expect a hot reception at Mountearl Gardens.

All that remains for me is to wish all Shysters the very best of luck in the Cup this weekend!!!!!

This is your Shysters correspondent signing off!!!!

THAT IS ALL!!!!!!!
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